EMP in Scarborough

Thomas: “You can punish me, but you can never take away my imagination!”

Me: “Oho, what a naїve thing to say, you foolish child. Thankfully I have the British education system to do it for me… MUWAHAHAHAHAR!”

(Luckily, I didn’t say that out loud, I just thought it).

Anyway, I happened to spot a piece of paper in his room, which I thought was pretty good stuff, for a budding writer:

I think it says: Chapter 1. One day, someone tried to shoot him.

Sadly, the ending was rather poor…

“Chapter 2. They missed. The end.

Then I found some more drafts under the duvet…

I think this is: “Introduction. There once was a dog called Sam Smith, we will call him Sam.”

Now, you may think it slightly unethical to take a person’s private creative attempts and publish them online: I know I would be mortified if anyone saw my rough drafts of things, or beginnings of song-writing attempts, but well, seriously, he’s a 6-year-old. It’ll be at least 12 years before he has the money to sue me!

And finally, in this post which looks through the window into Thomas’ soul (mmphf) I leave you with his healthy notion of 6-year-old boyishness, because well, really do they think of anything else?

“My Pants” by Thomas Plans. (Don’t be fooled by the ‘i’, that’s just where he’s rubbed out “bill board” underneath!)

OK, that’s a rubbish post title, considering that since I last posted, a whole New Year has passed.
Of course I cannot begin to tell you about all the thrilling and mind-blowing excitement that took place over my silent weeks… needless to say, a wonderful Christmas was had, an uneventful but safe New Year happened, and we all got back to work and school without too much of a hitch, other than a horrific stomach bug which wiped 3 of us out with one swoop.

I will fast forward to today, which was one of my favourite types of Sundays. Woke up late, had coffee, made a lego plane with Ollie, had more coffee, made scrambled eggs on toast for brunch (my breakfast, boys’ lunch). Then took boys to playpark at Sainsburys.

While we were there an odd thing happened. An old lady came up to me and said:
“You’ve had two smash-ups there, haven’t you?”
Me: [Wild panic while I wonder what the hell has happened to my car. Realise I'm nowhere near the car and re-assess the sentence. "You've got two smashers there, haven't you?!" is the more probable explanation. Look around at nearest plausible "smashers" - must be the boys.
"Er... you mean the boys? Well, they're ok I suppose".
Old lady: "Well, they look lovely.
Me: "It's just as well you can't hear them!" OK, that was a stupid thing to say, but I was still half-worried about the car... (which was not actually involved in the conversation at all).

Moving swiftly on, I bought the "smashers" (quite an apt name, I've decided) a magazine each, with a view to spending the afternoon in the pub. This plan went without a hitch, although an iPad and a Nintendo 3DS were also involved, but David arrived wearing some new "I'm-a-Lecturer" clothing, bought from a charity shop, which he was very proud of. We agreed that he was just missing the leather elbow patches, and then there would be no doubt of his occupation.

Anyway, the boys had a lovely time at the play park, while I listened to the whole of "Violator" by Depeche Mode, an album I haven't heard for years, and took photos. There was a guy graffitiing (does that have 3 "i"s?) a large tag on the graffiti wall, but we didn't stay long enough to see the finished image.

The other day, to get us through the eternal wasteland that is January, we printed off a voucher and went to eat at "Ask". This always seems to perk us up a bit, and the boys were more than happy with their inclusive dessert and "bambuccino".

In other news, I’m doing well with my new mission to read all the Dystopian novels on Wikipedia’s list, having read “Cloud Atlas” by David Mitchell which was amazingly brilliant, “Farenheit 451″ by Ray Bradbury, which was ok, and just in the middle of “Neuromancer” by William Gibson, which seems to be a pre-cursor to The Matrix, and very similar to Bladerunner, although I’m not altogether hooked, and can’t wait to move on to the next set of books. We are playing our way through “Call of Duty – World at War” on the xbox, and have just watched all the “Sherlock” BBC drama episodes, which I found surprisingly engaging, having not had very high expectations.

Thomas has finally seen a paediatrician, who has ordered several tests to try to figure out whether his stomach aches have a physical cause. They seem to be getting worse, and actually waking him up occasionally, and therefore me, so I hope we find something simple and easily-treatable, though I don’t hold out much hope. He was described as a “skinny boy” and is on the 20th-50th centile for height (105cm), but only the 9th – 25th centile for weight (19kgs).

There were loads more things I wanted to blog about, but really this is just a post to break the “blank screen” phenomenon, and I hope to get back into the swing of it again, just to make sure not so miss the blow-by-blow accounts of mundane daily banality.

So if you are under 60 years-old, you might want to skip this one… It will be sickly, but these things have to be recorded.

David and I both made it to the boys’ nativity play on Friday. David took some video, but I would have been shaking too much with laughter. Both the boys had a speaking part: Thomas was a narrator (“The only narrator from year 1!” he was very proud to tell me) and Ollie was “a child” (well dhuh…). Ollie and his friend played the children in a family where they were looking forward to opening their presents, and then ask about “the real” Christmas story. The play then cuts to the usual Mary, Joseph, Donkey, Wise Men, Hordes of Angels, Stars, and what I eventually figured out to be Sheep. It was pretty good, actually, with lots of singing. Ollie did some funky dancing on the stage at the end, which had me weeping with laughter: he does this thing with his feet that looks a bit like a highland jig. Anyway, I did manage to get a photo of Thomas’s class group:

I was supposed to get one of Ollie’s class too, but he stood behind lots of tall people, so I couldn’t actually see him.

The boys have been singing one of the carols constantly at home, and I thought I should capture it, though I could only get them to do it while playing with the lego…

So, the only way to absolve myself from blog-neglect is to only post highlights, rather than boring you with all the mundane activity that I am party to these days.

The biggest highlight since the last post was my bridge weekend! I jumped on a train to London a few weeks ago, to meet up with my bridge buddies. We met at Big Chill in King’s Cross, and then went to Sarah brand new flat, that she’d never stayed the night in before. It was a bit of a building site, but it still felt very cosy, once the candles had been lit, and the gin was a-flowing!
I was so excited to be in London again. When I stepped off the train, I texted David, “Planes! People! Diesel Fumes! Yipee!!!” It was quite a shock just how many people I was in amongst, and it’s easy to see why “country folk” find it dizzying and disorientating, but I just loved it, and had to stop myself hugging random strangers, just because I was so pleased to see them.
I have been taking a picture of us playing bridge every time for the last few years, which I hope to make into a sequence, when I have enough. Here we are:

On the way home the next day, I took a photo in the tube, and a couple of King’s Cross, though, hopefully due to being slightly worse for wear, there were not many good photos!

Anyway, it was a real treat for me, and David and the boys got on just fine without me, so maybe next time, I can make it for two nights, instead of just one.

Next big news is that we’ve found a babysitter! We had a practice run last week, and the boys love her. This means that David and I are potentially going to get to go out together more often, which will be brilliant. We are hoping to get to an Alan Ayckbourn play while we are here, as “his” theatre is in Scarborough.

Still, to keep babysitting costs down, I’ve found myself a drinking buddy, in the name of economy you understand – David can look after the boys while I go out and attempt the pub quiz with my friend. We have a lot of laughs and I somehow need directions back to my own home every time when we stagger out afterwards.

What else? Well, I’ve been spending most of my weekends building space lego with Ollie, as this is his new passion, until he gets terribly frustrated and throws stuff.

I finished “The Hunger Games” trilogy, which was brilliant, and soon to be released as a movie. I’ve printed out a list of dystopian novels from Wikipedia, as really it’s been my favourite genre, ever since I got into John Wyndham when I was 11, and have decided to dedicate the rest of my life to reading everything on the list. I’ve read at least 12 of them already, but the rule is the books have to be from the library or second-hand. Will try to keep a note of my progress.

OK, I haven’t posted for so long, it’s getting ridiculous, and I apologise. My days and evenings seem to be filled with non-blog-posting activity. This is good though, as it means I now have a lot more of my own life-living going on, rather than being a slave to two (three) boys. Anyway, I plan to post tomorrow, so look out for lots of exciting stuff… (well, you know, new stuff anyway).

So, rather than becoming better at managing my time, I just seem to be more and more busy!

There are some excellent sides to this, and some less excellent.

Firstly, it means I have my finger in lots of pies. I enjoy my job, I still have contacts with my other job, I am starting to actually do things for my third job, … wait, did you know about that one? Well I’m part of a company that designs phone apps (I actually own the american branch…), but only because I’m friendly (like *really* friendly) with the company’s founder… I think you get it. This means I’ve had the chance to play with PD again (Pure Data) and now I’m making some sounds for it too. I’ve also drafted up the beginnings of an app which I think will totally brilliant, though it was more David’s idea. I’ve also ended up writing some sound for someone’s third year performance piece, and lastly in the gaps in between I’ve been rehearsing for the lounge duo that is starting up for the purposes of earning more money! A couple of friends also wanted me to join a fun local choir, which I know I would have enjoyed, but turned down due to lack of time.

The “less excellent” is that somewhere in all that, there are a couple of small boys that I vaguely remember. We had a morning last week where we took the boys to McDonalds for breakfast, as we had no milk for cereal and no butter for toast! I don’t even try to attend various (seemingly daily) school functions, and I even turned down a good night out, on the grounds that I wouldn’t get to spend an evening with the kids this week! This week was the first time I actually had to address the “my life vs theirs” question. I think this week I’ve probably got the balance right, although, when I finished work early and went to collect the boys early from after-school club, Thomas was outraged, was physically aggressive, and cried his eyes out because I’d come too soon! He was not-at-all please to see me and spend time with me. (I got the hint when he wailed “I wish I’d never been born!”)

To add to the excitement this week, we have had a leak under the bath, so the bathroom carpet is soaked, meaning that we couldn’t use the bathroom sink.

Anyway, some words now on Ollie:
He is totally into school. It’s as if he was born to go to school. His teacher says that he is just taking everything in – as much as she can throw at him, he absorbs it. At home, he grabs pieces of paper and obsessively writes out numbers – getting as high as he can keep his concentration.

I had to take him to the doctor this week, as he’s been coughing a lot at night again – and it was waking me up every night, and I sleep in the opposite corner of the flat so Ollie must be exhausted. Anyway, he now has a Fluticasone inhaler again though, check this out: The doctor told me that in the UK they make them in 50mcg and 100mcg doses, and opted for the 50mcg one. The one he was given in the states was 110mcg! Still it seems to be doing the trick, thank goodness, as I was exhausted enough to develop a UTI last weekend (urinary tract infection) and had to take antibiotics for 3 days.

We took the boys to see the Tintin movie in Hull on Sunday, where they also got lunch at their favourite eatery there “Pizza Express” because they get to make their own bread constructions:

Finally there’s not much to say about Thomas, other than the padlock finally made it’s appearance. I have a photo of it, but will wait to see what the general consensus is about whether you want to see it or not… cast your votes please. Oh, and I should mention, for the record, I’ve had my first argument with Thomas where I felt he was actually out-manoeuvring me in the conversation. I mention it because although I didn’t lose the argument, it shocked me. (I hasten to add it wasn’t over a disciplinary action… we were just arguing the pros & cons of something). He is now happily attending chess club every week with kids from years 5 & 6, and loves it! He reports when he’s won or lost at suicide chess so much that I had to ask him whether they play proper chess (they do).

I’m starting to get a bit more comfortable with talking about Thomas being bright, thankfully, it’s still not something we have to do anything about, other than normal stuff, like make sure he has books to read. He has group violin lessons at school, (I cannot help but smile when I think about the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets her saxophone) and he is allowed to attend a chess club for older kids. So I think his school is more than adequately meeting his needs for now, and I am sincerely grateful for this, as I know not everybody finds this happy match.

Sadly though, his stomach aches are still prevalent, and also his inability to sleep. I captured some pictures of the boys at bedtime to show them the dreadful bags under both their eyes, Thomas seemingly unable to fall asleep before 9pm, and Ollie with his coughing:

Phew, this post ended up being very long, and I apologise that the photos are all iphone-taken.

So, we are still waiting for the padlock to appear, and I have pretty much given up on it. We called the GP today, to ask whether we should be worried, but she told us that we should only worry if he is in pain, or vomiting.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing today is that I wanted to tell you a couple of Thomas things…

Firstly, this afternoon, a conversation between us…

Thomas: [random and boring babbling about some frog toy he got from a Kinder egg].
Me: That’s GREAT!
Thomas: you are being sarcastic aren’t you. (accusing tone).
Me: nono, I wasn’t!
Thomas: Yes you were… I could hear it in your voice!
Me: [hangs head guiltily].

Secondly, something that took me by surprise. As I collected Ollie from school today, his teacher said “Ollie did some great maths today, making up his own sums and everything! He even got a merit for it! Ollie, how many more merits do you need to get a certificate?” (Ollie held up two fingers) “So you have 3 merits already!”

So, of course, I was all “WELL DONE OLLIE! CLEVER BOY! Good for you!” etc etc.

Then it transpires that Thomas has only had 1 merit. He got very upset, so I said, “Look, just because I’m happy that Ollie got 3 merits, doesn’t mean I’m not happy that you didn’t. Who cares about merits anyway – they aren’t important!”

Thomas: “Mum, you don’t understand.”
Me: “Well then, tell me!”
Thomas: “You need to get a certain amount of merits to go to the tea party with the headmistress, and I REALLY WANT to go to that tea party!!!”
Me: [boggles].

It reminded me of various conversations I had in my youth with my parents, where they ascertained that they never put pressure on me to perform well academically, where I always maintained that they had. My mum told me that I must have put the pressure on myself. I found this extremely unlikely, as I’ve never really been that ambitious about anything. So, hearing this from my own son, has made me question this now. Maybe all that angst was self-inflicted after all!!! Philip Larkin – you were wrong!!!

So, today has been a pretty rough one, as days go. This morning, Ollie, having been repeatedly warned not to climb on the sofa, finally fell off the back of it, cracking his head and face on the way down.

(apologies that that one is out of focus: it was a bit fraught!)

In profile:

Thankfully he didn’t exhibit any signs of concussion, though we let him stay home on the sofa for a while just in case. You can’t really see in the photos that his eye and nose are also scraped.

Anyway, Thomas and I rushed around all the charity shops to find something spotty for him and Ollie to wear on “Children In Need” day at school. We found a measly spotty tie, and I ended up paying £4 for a spotty scarf that I can cut in two and tie around their heads as bandanas. I did however manage to get Thomas a reasonable pair of jeans for £2, as he only has one other pair of non-school trousers. I also forked out for some sports trousers and a sweatshirt (total £13 at Matalan) for him to wear to football, as it was so cold at the last session, he wore his school trousers and jumper over his t-shirt & shorts!

We got home for lunch, and then the whole family tidied the house, which needed a lot of attention. Thomas was complaining about having to tidy, when I noticed something in his mouth. I had just said “take that out of your mouth!” when the next thing I know, he’s rushing around in a panic, having swallowed the damn thing – a small padlock. I cannot count the number of times I’ve had to tell him not to put things in his mouth. Anyway, he was understandably terrified, and while David put his shoes on to take him to A&E, I calmed him down and told him that he would be fine. He was worried that they would “cut him open” at the hospital. As I type, he and David are still there, waiting for an x-ray, but the doctor seemed confident that he can pass it safely…

I only hope that the boys might start paying attention to what we say to them now, but I don’t hold out much hope.

On a lighter note, David has been spending a time in the evenings with Thomas, teaching him meditation, and also, the programming language “Lua” using Codify on the ipad. This is doing wonders for their relationship. Thomas has really been complaining a lot about his stomach hurting these past couple of weeks, so I took him back to the doctor again. The GP has referred Thomas to the paediatric team, so we’ll see how this progresses.

Finding time to post at the moment is not even as hard as finding some interesting stuff to blog about! I did give-in and do some baking with the kids last Wednesday. We made savoury cupcakes: Cheddar & Sweetcorn, with spring onions and thyme. They were rather good actually, even though we had to use wholemeal self-raising flour, as that’s all I could find in the house.

On Saturday it was Guy Fawkes’ night. After dinner, we bundled up and took a walk down to the beach. It was more impressive than I had dared hope, with bonfires all along the coast – it looked pretty cool actually! Ollie didn’t like the noise, and Thomas complained because we’d forgotten to buy any sparklers, and I refused to buy him an ice cream. Thankfully though, we found a hotdog seller who was giving sparklers away for free (because you cannot sell them without a licence). We got two toffee apples and two packs of little sparklers for £1, which we thought was rather a bargain. Anyway, here are some of the photos…

I should point out in that previous photo, that our hats are still in storage, so we had to improvise a little. Thomas has been teasing Ollie about his scratch on his forehead, calling him Harry Potter!

My poor old macbook needed some attention. Whenever it was opened, the optical drive grinded and clonked as if trying to pass a particularly difficult CD. I have been using it for work lately, as it’s much lighter than my MacBook Pro, but this means that I’m very conspicuous when I turn it on in lectures.

So, finally today, with the boys all out of the house, I got to it.

This website http://www.ifixit.com/Guide/MacBook-Core-Duo-Optical-Drive-Replacement/286/1 on my Macbook Pro, I rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in.

It was pretty fiddly, and one screw was so buried under these cables, that I missed it completely, and nearly broke the bracket trying to pull the optical drive out! (I had removed a different screw!)

Anyway, I got the drive out, but unfortunately, I didn’t find anything stuck in it, nor anything obvious that could be fixed, adjusted or removed. I put it all back together again, and booted up with my fingers crossed. Happily it booted up just fine, but unhappily, the optical drive was just as vociferous as before (slightly louder, as I didn’t bother putting that difficult screw back in). So I went through the whole process again, and this time, simply removed the drive. It obviously isn’t working anyway, so it has probably just taken too much abuse over the years (I remember David pulling credit cards and a 5p piece out of it when Thomas was a tiny toddler).
I taped up the brackets, and taped the bluetooth antenna to stop it rattling, and put it all back together again for the second time.

Maybe we’ll get a replacement drive at some point: I’ve saved the screws just in case!

While I had the tool case out, I thought I might as well fix the boys’ headphones, again. This is a quick and easy job thanks to the kind manufacturer who colour-coded the wires!

Also, it meant that I got to play with one of my favourite toys, which I don’t often get to play with:

My gas-powered soldering iron! See the pretty light!

Anyway, Macbook less noisy, headphones more noisy, and along with some washing-up and this blogpost, it was a positively proactive Saturday! However, I’m still in my pyjamas, and it doesn’t seem worth getting dressed now that the sun is nearly setting again…

Oh, don’t forget, Brits, the clocks back tonight!